Everyday, I still grapple with the reality of losing someone.  Life is indeed tricky, one time you feel like you are on top of the world; another time you feel lost and alone and you feel that everything you held on to and considered your reason to go on with life gets unfairly taken away from you…just like that.

Sigh.  I am being emotional again.  I miss lola.  It pains me to know that I will never see her again, and it scares me to think that as time passes, such emotions may in the end get dulled.  I never want to let go, although I know for some reason time will do what its supposed to do and everything will be but memories.

I’ll post a song by Mariah Carey which I feel  just says everything I myself cannot find words to express.

This is for my people who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)

Mamas, daddies, sisters,
brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky ’cause
we will never say bye

As a child there were them times
I didn’t get it but you kept me in line
I didn’t know why I didn’t show up sometimes on Sunday mornings
and I missed you
But i’m glad we talked through

All them grown full things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show because
You loved me and obviously
There’s so much more left to say
If you were with me today
face to face

[ Chorus ]
I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on I
Wish I could talk to you for awhile
Miss you but I try not to cry
As..time..goes..by

And as soon as you’ve reached a better place
Still I’ll give the whole world to see your face
And I’m back here next to you
It feels like you gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say bye bye

bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
bye bye

And you never got the chance to
see how good I’ve done
And you never got to see me back at number one
I wish that you were here to celebrate together
I wish that we could spend the holidays together

I remember when you used to tuck me in at night
With the Teddy Bear you gave
me that I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
You’d make it through whatever
It’s so hard to accept the fact you’re gone forever

[ Chorus ]
I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on I
Wish I could talk to you for awhile
Miss you but I try not to cry
As.. time.. goes.. by

And as soon as you’ve reached a better place
Still I’ll give the world to see your face
And I’m back here next to you
It feels like you gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say bye bye

bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
bye bye

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)

Mamas, daddies, sisters,
brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky ’cause
we will never say bye …bye

[ Chorus ]
I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on I
Wish I could talk to you for awhile
I wish I could find a way try not to cry
As.. time.. goes.. by

And as soon as you’ve reached a better place
Still I’ll give the whole world to see your face
Feels like I’m next to you
It feels like you gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say bye bye

bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
bye bye, bye bye, bye bye, bye

bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
bye bye, bye bye, bye bye, bye